Outside
by Mithua
Summary: He betrayed the Dark Lord and escaped his death, he can only turn to one person now. But would that person accept him back? Slash Complete
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co do not belong to me (unfortunately)! They belong to the marvellous JK Rowling. The song 'Outside' belongs to the band, Staind. 

A/N: I know I have a gazillion number of fics to finish off. But I really want to write some H/D slash! It has to be written right now, because otherwise, it'll be held off for ages (you can decide whether that's a good of bad thing)! I think this is my first serious attempt at a songfic, so I hope it will turn out ok! This is the first of four chapters!

_This is for you, Cully! _

***

Outside

By Mithua.

_And you,_

_Bring me to my knees, again._

_All the times,_

_That I could beg you please_

_In vain_

_All the times,_

_That I felt insecure._

_For you,_

_And I leave_

_My burdens at the door_.__

The skies were dark. The morbid thunder rumbled overhead. And the rain fell. Heavily. Everything seemed bleak, even the blonde mass of hair which had once shone vigorously, strongly. The blonde tightened his grip around his cloak, his breath haggard from the running, his leg bleeding from the injuries from the night before. He had barely escaped their clutches, he was sure that he'd be a dead man if they ever found him again. He had betrayed them. He had made them seem vulnerable for the first time. He had exposed them. He was to be punished, and no one escaped the Dark Lord, no one at all…except _him._

Draco flinched as another blinding pain shot through his left leg. He tied the make-shift bandage tighter around his leg, trying to stop the blood from coming. He'd hate to see his wound. But still, he continued on his painful journey, searching for that log cabin on the hill. He cursed _him for having a home at such an obscure place. Made travelling there a lot difficult. Had he been able to apparate, he would gladly do it. But with his current injury, he was sure that his leg would be splinched from his body. He winced at the thought. _

He at last saw the cabin from afar. A hazy smoke rising from it, blending in with the grey of the clouds above. The rain could be seen, hitting off the roof of the cabin. Draco made his way up the precarious hill, to the home of the only man that could possibly trust him.

The hill was slippery. The wet stones of the path were covered in a thick moss, and walking was extremely difficult. Especially with an injured leg. How Draco had wished he had learned some healing spells. He never thought he'd ever actually need them. He scolded himself again for overestimating himself. If he had received such an injury in battle and returned to the Dark Lord, he would be considered a retard and would have been better off dead. So he had made sure never to become badly injured in battle. He wouldn't _need_ those healing spells. But now he did.

After what seemed like hours, Draco had reached the log cabin home. The wind was colder and harsher up here. The rain fell down heavier and the there lay a thin mist around the home. But the home emanated warmth, the only warm thing on the whole bloody hill. 

Draco was exhausted. His breathing was rigid, his leg swollen and painful, his feet cramped from the climb, and a stitch forming at his side. He limped to the door and raised his hand to knock, but just before his hand came in contact with the cedar wood, he stopped, and dropped it.

What if he _didn't_ trust him anymore?

What if hated him now?

Would he care if he was practically crippled at his doorstep?

Would he forgive?

_Could_ he forgive?

Draco's feet trembled, before they finally gave way to his weight. He flinched at the sudden movement, the throbbing had turned excruciating again. He had almost yelled out. But Draco sat there, on the doorstep, still soaking from the rain. He leaned his forehead against the cedar wood quietly. It gave him a little warmth amongst the cold.

_He _wouldn't want him around. Not after what had happened these past few years.

He should have died when the Death Eaters turned on him under Voldemort's command.

He shouldn't be here.

The support of the door suddenly disappeared, and it took all of Draco's effort not to fall forward to the ground. He looked up to see a wand pointed at his head, that wondrous holly wand. Draco lifted his face to meet the startled green eyes.

"Bloody hell…" Harry whispered.

Quickly placing his wand in his pocket, Draco felt two warm hands pull him to his feet. A warm hand slithered around his waist and another placed it around Harry's neck. Draco was half-helped, half-dragged to the couch at the opposite side of the room. 

He was safe, for now. 

***

A/N: Yay!! That was fun! Maybe not that much of an entertaining read, but it will hopefully get better! Please review, I'd be really grateful! 


	2. Chapter 2

_All the times  
That I felt like this won't end  
It's for you  
And I taste  
What I could never have  
It was from you  
All the times  
That I've cried  
My intentions  
Full of pride  
But I waste  
More time than anyone_

Harry helped Draco lie down on the couch and headed off to another room. He returned with a bowl of water and a white washcloth. He looked at the messy wound on the leg and gently started removing the make-shift bandage. Draco winced a little but didn't say anything. He didn't really know what to say. He jerked away when he felt the sting of the cold water hitting his wound, and immediately regretted it as another searing pain jolted up his leg. Harry didn't complain about his sudden movement and continued to clean the wound, ignoring Draco's flinching. He picked up his wand, and muttered a spell, Draco nearly yelled out in the pain. But he did take note of a bloody red object emerging from his leg. 

"Must have been quite painful." Harry commented as he disposed of the jagged glass shard. He then brought the cloth back to the wound, to clean it again.

"Yeah, jumping out a window has that affect." Draco replied.

Harry left the room again. Draco looked around the log cabin. It was simple, a few chairs, a coffee table, a fireplace and photo's here and there. It was overall nice place for someone who had to move about a lot. Harry entered again, this time with some clothes and bandages. He placed the clothes down and once again brought out his wand. He pointed it at the wound, but this time the spell uttered affected the clothing around it. It started to tear off around the wound, and Draco couldn't help the red tinge coming from his face. He knew he should've taken it in a purely platonic way, but after having had Harry for 4 years and craving him again for 3 years, it was hard to not blush.  If Harry noticed the colour change in Draco's face, he didn't mention it. 

Instead, he started to tie the wound up in a bandage and secure it tightly. He helped Draco up off the couch.

"The bathroom's on down the hall, first door on the right. You can change and clean up there." He said and handed him the clothes. Draco nodded and limped off. Once Harry heard the click of the door shutting, he collapsed onto the couch. 

What was he going to do now? 

How long was _he _going to stay?

Did he even want him to stay?

Yes.

He did want him to stay.

But to explain, explain everything. 

Getting up, Harry walked to the kitchen and started the kettle. If he wanted him to explain things, might as well make sure he's comfortable with it. He still remembered Draco preferred coffee over tea. No sugar, no cream. Black coffee. He also loved muffins. Blueberry muffins were his favourite. Harry set out a plate of four blueberry muffins and poured out the coffee. He had gotten into the habit of buying things both he and Draco liked. And he had never gotten over that particular habit. He walked back to the living room and placed the tray down. He sat on the couch and waited until the blonde came through.

And came through he did. In pyjama's of the deepest blue. His grimy face was now scrubbed clean, and his now dry hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, tendrils of hair framing his face. His grey eyes reflected the light of the fire. He sat down on the other side of the couch Harry sat on. 

"Thanks." He said quietly. Harry gave a slight nod and indicated to him to help himself to coffee and some muffins. Draco took a sip of the liquid and bit into a muffin.

"How's Voldemort doing?" Harry asked. Draco flinched again. It was a sore subject for both of them.

"Rumour has it; he's out to kill you," Harry continued. Not once did Harry look at Draco. His green eyes looked directly at the dancing flames. 

"It's not a rumour. It's the truth." Draco said, also looking at the enticing flames.

"Looks like we're on the same boat." Harry commented more to himself than to Draco. Draco nodded and took another sip of the coffee.

Harry waited until he was done with the coffee and muffins. It had seemed to bb the tensest moment in his life, as he waited for him to finish. But when he did, he could see that the full stomach had had an affect on Draco. His eyes lids started to droop. Harry sighed, no answers tonight. He helped Draco off the couch, and Draco leant on him. Draco once again smelt the unique scent that was Harry Potter. He felt the warmth of Harry's hand, helping him stay upright. It must have been the longing for him that made him turn Harry's face towards him and plant a chaste kiss on his lips. Harry seemed stunned. He didn't respond to the kiss, but he didn't stop it either. When Draco moved away, the couch was now a bed. Harry turned away from him and helped him into the bed. Once the covers were rather haphazardly placed over him, Harry retreated with a small 'goodnight.'

A small smile played on Draco's lips as he fell asleep.

Harry on the other hand didn't bother to change as he went to bed. He tossed and turned, but it was long into the night when he finally did find some restless sleep.   


	3. Chapter 3

_All the times  
That I've cried  
All this wasted  
It's all inside  
And I feel  
All this pain  
Stuffed it down  
It's back again  
And I lie  
Here in bed  
All alone  
I can't mend  
But I feel  
Tomorrow will be OK_

Harry sat. And he stared. He didn't know how long it was, but the day seemed to pass and Draco slept on and on, through the pounding rain threatening to shatter though the window. He slept when the lightning illuminated the sky, he seemed to snore his was through the thunder. A small smirk played on Harry's lips, if there was one thing Draco Malfoy wasn't, it was a graceful sleeper. 

But all the things that he was, well, that was an endless list to Harry.

He was one of his allies, and also an enemy. He was the greatest, and also the worst. He was once a lover, now he was…

Harry ripped his eyes off of him. Instead, he whipped out his wand. In a flash, the smouldering embers were once again roaring flames. His green eyes lingered on the flames yet again, they were hypnotizing. Just like Draco.

Harry's eyes once again wandered over to the sleeping blonde. He slept like a log. Just like those years back in Hogwarts, when the blonde bastard had been made Head Boy, and so very smug about it all. Harry smiled a little.

Draco loved being Head Boy. He loved having his own private chambers. He loved taking points away from Harry for the smallest of things, just to annoy him. But if there was one thing he loved even more, it was Harry himself, although maybe he didn't admit it a lot. 

Harry remembered the time when they had first actually kissed. It had been during a rather eventful snowball fight. Harry and Draco targeting each other relentlessly, charmed snowballs pelting from all angles. It was then Draco discovered that he should have been a Chaser instead of a Seeker. He managed to hit Harry square on the head, no magic involved.

Draco had burst out laughing at the stunned look on Harry's face. His usually black hair contrasted greatly with the white crown of snow resting on his head. While he had laughing Harry walked toward him, shaking the snow off of his hair.

"You can be a real dick sometimes Malfoy…" Harry grinned, getting last bits of snow out of his hair.

"You love me really." Draco replied. Still smirking at the bits of snow tangled in Harry's hair.

"Oh shut up," Harry said and shoved Draco into the snow. Draco dragged Harry down with him, and the tumbled down a slope, getting completely covering in the white powder. Once they managed to stop rolling together they both burst out laughing. That had been rather fun. They were both just lying on the snow laughing. Draco saw the exact state Harry was him, his usual black robes now had an overdosed sprinkle of snow. Harry's cheeks and nose were red from the cold and his hair was once again, covered in white. His heart skipped and when Harry had stopped laughing he could help but stare at him.

His face inched forward slowly.

Harry was shaken out of his reverie as Draco let out a yawn and his eyes slowly opened. Harry felt a blush rise in his cheeks and cursed under his breath. Draco let out a sigh and got up, stretching as he did so.

"Take a shower, I'll get some food ready." Harry said, rising from his seat. Draco turned to face him and slowly nodded, picking up the fresh clothes laid out for him and going to the bathroom.

***  
  


Draco stepped out of the bathroom a few moments later, only to find Harry sitting in his familiar chair and to see a small chicken pie and salad sitting on the table. Draco sat down silently and ate, feeling the unmoving green eyes on him. The sound of the fire crackled, as the rain fell down constantly upon the roof. When he had finished, he looked up at Harry who was drinking some coffee. He picked up his own cup and drank from it. A pregnant pause loomed before Harry suddenly spoke.

"Why'd you do it?" Harry asked and turned to face him, or more specifically his arm. It was as his Harry's eyes were pulling his sleeve up to reveal the dreaded Dark Mark.

"I had no other choice." Draco replied simply.

"Bullshit." Harry replied suddenly. His green eyes darkening.

"I'll give you bullshit. Falling in love with someone who you were told to hate since you were born, to be put under Imperious and nearly killing him." Silence loomed once again as Draco continued on.

"Being tortured and having to choose between deaths of loved ones or becoming a Deatheater. Living under the rule of some demented maniac while deliberately foiling missions in order to save you." Draco's voice started to rise.

"Nearly getting killed for doing so and then blurting it out to Dumbledore where the main headquarters are! Yes…it was complete bullshit Harry!" Draco retorted. He was definitely surprised by his outburst. Draco's hand was shaking as he put the cup down. He sighed and held his head in his hands.

"It's been a hard 3 years without you." He said silently. "But it never meant I stopped caring."

There was an awkward silence. The ever pounding rain cascaded down on the roof, numbing the sound of the crackling fire.

"I'm really sorry Draco." Harry said. Looking at him, his eyes showing concern.

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry this whole Deatheater thing happened." Draco said, he sounded and looked exhausted emotionally. Held his cup again, and stared at the brownish liquid inside.

"So, long hair. Looks good on you." Harry complimented. He smiled a little as he saw a blush creep onto the blonde's face.

"Really? Don't think it's too…Lucius?" He asked. Harry laughed and shook his head.

"No." Harry replied as he rose from his seat. He took his cup and the empty plate back to the kitchen. As he came back into the room, he saw Draco using the mantelpiece as a support to stand up. He was looking at all the different photographs that decorated the simple room. 

Hermione could be seen laughing at a nervous Ron as he held their newborn daughter. There was one of Neville and Harry, holding up their butterbeers. There was one of Sirius, Remus and his parents. Sirius looked panicked as he held a baby Harry, looking ready to cry, with Remus laughing at the flustered parents. Draco smiled at that one.

"Are you her godfather?" Draco suddenly asked, as he pointed at the picture of Ron, Hermione and the little girl. He turned to look at him. Harry nodded.

"Her name's Ruth. She's 4 year's old now, smart like Hermione, and a personality like Ron." Harry replied, a small smile on his face.

"She's beautiful." Draco replied looking at the baby girl who yawned in the photo. Ron looked like he was going to jump if she yawned again, continued to look pleadingly at Hermione who only laughed at him.

Draco turned as Harry walked up to him.

"You should probably get some more rest." Harry said as he raised his hands to help support him. Draco however stopped him, instead, he raised his pale hands and held Harry's face. Harry's eyes widened, as he felt Draco's caress. How they had longed for the other's touched?

"I've missed you." Draco whispered.  

The feeling of those familiar fingers running along his face brought back a thousand memories, gooseflesh appeared on his arms. He didn't seem to notice himself leaning into the touch and closing his eyes. He kissed the fingertip that ran across his lips. Only Draco could make him feel like this. He opened his eyes to see Draco smiling that smile that made his heart melt. 

Drawn to each other like before, their lips met again. Both responding to urges which had been kept away for too long. Draco's hands entangled themselves in the thick black hair, which he hadn't felt for so many years. It felt so great to be together, they were like two piece of a jigsaw fixed together flawlessly. 

They parted for need of breath, but their foreheads leant against the other. They breathed and smiled at the other. 

***

_But I'm on the outside  
And I'm looking in  
I can see through you  
See your true colours  
'Cause inside you're ugly  
You're ugly like me  
I can see through you  
See to the real you_

_***_

A/N: I decided to make it 3 chapters instead! ^^ So that means, this was the last chapter! YAY! I think this story sucked for an H/D but care, I'm an amateur and this was my first even H/D…and I'll need your reviews to help me improve (hint)! But anyway, hope you enjoyed it, and who know, I might just be back to slap you in the face with another H/D! If you're lucky! 

Mithua ^-^

18/11/03 


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